There Had Been
by DreamyLoner
Summary: There had been blissful times. Times when they were a sweet couple. Times when they had a son. Times when he was sane. Times when he was alive. But those times withered as swiftly as a rose. There had been blossoms. But now only fallen petals remained. And Yao would never forget that. He was finally free. WARNING: violence, abuse, angst, character death. Human AU. RoChu. Dark fic.


Yao stared at his reflection. His face was pallid and his eyes were dreary. He was nothing but a living skeleton. Bruises scattered across his pale, porcelain skin. However many times he blinked, the image always appeared the same. Some wounds were fresh; some were old; some were fading; some were healing. But none of them felt right.

He winced slightly as he rubbed against the gash his lover ingrained onto his arm last night. It wasn't really a big deal if he were to compare this little cut to the other ones. He had been through worse.

He vaguely remembered Ivan flipping out during their dinner. It had something to do with the taste not meeting up to his standard or rather, he was just caught in an awful mood. He had had a bit of vodka, well maybe a little too much. Yao was hardly the one to speak or protest. He felt it much easier to retreat when things turned ugly. Fighting would only result in more harm than benefits. He couldn't surpass the towering Russian who stood at least a few inches taller than him anyway.

The door was flung open with a violent kick. Yao leapt up from his chair and spun around. He gasped as another thud reached his ears, followed by the shattering sounds of a few objects. The wrath raged on.

Shuddering, he trudged downstairs in a snail-slow motion. In all honesty, he didn't want to greet Ivan but who knows what would happen if he didn't do so. As expected, his Russian partner was in the sitting room, venting his resentment on furniture and fragile decors. Yao trembled at the sight of his manic spouse. Broken vodka bottles lay on the floor.

Tears started to brim Yao's eyes even before he could speak. The other man ceased his destruction and turned around.

"S-Stop it, Ivan!" Yao yelled.

The Russian didn't budge. The Asian stomped towards the seething figure and snatched the vodka bottle from his grip. Yao tossed the bottle aside and cupped Ivan's cheeks, tears cascading down his own face.

"Please, stop it…You're drunk," Yao murmured. Ivan's gaze didn't shift once. He glared at his black-haired lover and balled his hands into fists.

Yao clenched his eyes close. The impact was enough to tear him down. The Asian collapsed to the floor upon the slap. His lover's orbs burned through his back. Yao whimpered but refrained from backing down. He propped himself up a little before another kick attacked his stomach. He coughed hard, more tears rinsing down his face now. He tried to let his consciousness drift; tried to distract himself from the excruciating pain but more just kept coming.

"Shut up! Yao, I'm in no mood to deal with you!" the Russian roared, kicking and beating the Asian incessantly. He had pulled out his favourite faucet pipe, wielding and smashing it against his lover's delicate body. Blood painted the floor. Yao swallowed and panted.

"Why do you always have to interrupt me? Why can't you just obey me? Damn it!" Ivan cussed under his breath, stopping when he deemed he had caused enough damage on his lover. Yao squirmed on the floor and curledhis body into a feeble ball. More blood oozed out of his wounds. His spouse vanished into another room, where he proceeded to howl and torment other objects.

Yao shivered. His limbs were numb. The previous wounds reopened themselves.

Another day of misery.

Another futile attempt to talk sense into his wrecked lover.

All he could see was darkness and the darkness shall he embrace.

It was exactly two hours later when he regained his consciousness. Yao whined at the pain shooting up his limbs. He was barely able to prop himself up once more when the bedroom door was booted open. Ivan, now more sober and sane, rushed out of the room and kneeled down beside the Asian.

"Yao…" he cooed. His breath still reeked of alcohol.

"I'm so sorry, Yao," Ivan sobbed and hugged Yao tightly. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry. So sorry. I was drunk. I couldn't….I couldn't control myself."

"Ivan…can you…hand me some towels aru…" Yao stammered, his lids half dropping in exhaustion. He coughed some more and sniveled, "Please…"

"Yes, yes, Yao," Ivan scooped up the Asian and raced to the bathroom. He offered to help Yao clean and bandage his wounds. Every day, it was just the same. He would lose his temper, lash out at his lover and torment him before going through the inevitable phase of pleading for forgiveness. And it would always end the same. Yao would forgive him. Ivan hadn't been sane since he was officially diagnosed with a serious mental illness resulted from depression and dissociative personalities one year ago. They both didn't wish to see Ivan go to an asylum and so they continued their life as if nothing had happened.

"I'm sorry, Yao…sorry…." Ivan said repeatedly, "Please don't abandon me. Sorry…please forgive me…I promise…I won't do it again…"

Yao knew better that these promises were doomed to be broken. Ivan couldn't control himself. He couldn't suppress his inner beasts that indulged in violence and rampage. He wasn't the same old boy who had vowed to protect and cherish him forever. He wasn't the same old boy whom he had taken care of when they were young and grown up to love more than anyone else.

He wasn't his beautiful, perfect sunflower anymore.

And Yao blamed himself.

They had been a couple for almost a decade. They had been through the best times of their marriage. They had been leading a pleasant and fruitful life. They had been so content.

It started with Ivan's business crumbling down. It started with him being backstabbed by his closest friends and business partners. It started with him forfeiting his entire company and plunging into bankruptcy. It started with him losing everything he had ever possessed.

It started with Yao not knowing what to do, how to combat with their decaying love, how to comfort and save Ivan.

And then came the abrupt death of their adopted son, Vanya, followed by years of poverty, social segregation and tough survival. It ended with the Russian heading off to the military for a year and returning with a completely different personality.

Yao couldn't keep the pieces together anymore.

For the past few months since Ivan's return, there wasn't much they could do to make things better. Yao wanted to put an end to their relationship but he never did.

Somewhere beneath his heart, he still thought that there was a seed of hope.

He secretly believed that if he endured enough, Ivan would someday go back to his usual self.

He couldn't survive on his own.

"Yao?" Ivan peeked up at Yao as he crouched down before him. The Asian's face was pale and exhuasted. Ivan patched him up meticulously after sterilising his wounds. He hugged the Asian and stroked his back. "Please. Don't ignore me."

"You forgot…your pills again aru…" Yao mumbled, leaning against the other man tiredly. Without him beside Ivan, he was sure no one would take care of him. The Russian would be sent to an asylum for sure. They would lock him up, strap him to a chair and so very slowly watch him suffer with sneers.

Ivan nodded and went to take his medication.

They had dinner together and went to bed. Yao made a mental note to remind himself of tidying up the mess in the sitting room later.

Ivan stayed at home for the next few days. Usually, he only went out when he felt that he needed vodka. Sometimes, Yao would stop him. The other times, Yao ** _couldn't_** stop him.

In the past, Yao never had to work. After Ivan's company was dissolved, he began working as a waiter at the restaurant down the street. It was also where he met his colleague and neighbour, Alfred. Unfortunately, ever since Ivan was sick, the Asian hadn't been able to go back to work. He couldn't even leave Ivan's side for more than an hour when they were both home.

Yao missed his friends and family. He missed Kiku, Jia Long and Yong Soo, although they all had their own life to care for. He missed Mei, who had just got married not long ago. He couldn't make it to her wedding. That day, he was stuck in one of Ivan's episodes. He hoped her marriage would work out much better than his.

He missed his other colleagues Arthur and Francis, who had both been great companions. He missed the days when he and Ivan were leading a normal life; not a warped one. He missed the old days.

Ivan had cut off the phone line. The Asian's family had attempted to persuade Yao to leave the Russian countless times. Ivan chased away Yao's siblings and successfully forbade him to maintain any association with them. As for Yao's friends, Ivan had been keeping a close eye on the three. Arthur and Francis were an annoying couple. And the American was the worst. It seemed that he just wouldn't leave Yao alone even after he resigned from his job. It bugged Ivan to no end.

"Yao, where are you going?" Ivan interrogated. Yao stared at the ground and clutched the shopping bag close to his chest. "We're running out of food aru. I need to do some grocery shopping…Do you want to come?"

"I'll stay. Don't take too long, da," Ivan said tersely and trod back to his room.

Yao nodded and stepped out of their house. Ivan had gone three days without hitting him, which was a good sign. He had been taking pills on time and there hadn't been incidents that infuriated him.

Yao strolled down the street, finally able to embrace the fresh air. Grocery shopping was the sole time he could enjoy his little freedom. Sometimes, Ivan would tag along with him. Sometimes, he was just too lazy to follow him. He usually had an hour's time to run his errands. If he got back late, Ivan would either sulk or punish him.

"Yao! Yo! Yao!"

A familiar voice yelled. Yao slowed down and finally stopped when a heavy hand caught his shoulder.

"Dude, I said stop!" Alfred, catching his breath, gave a goofy smile.

"A-Alfred?"

"That's me. Damn it, where the heck have you been all this time? You don't even come out to our gathering anymore, man. I haven't seen you for three weeks. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong aru." Yao smiled, "Alfred, I need to go to the store. Can't stop to talk. Maybe another time."

"Wait," Alfred frowned and clasped the Asian. "We live so close to each other and yet I hardly see you around! It's so wrong, bro! We're gonna have tea together. It's my treat today."

"No aru!" Yao objected almost instantly, "I'm...I'm busy."

"Nah, you're not. You're just going shopping. Awwww, come on, I miss ya, bud. Arthur and Francis were asking about you last week. Like we used to party and drink a lot when your shitty husband was in the military. We can't even call you now. What the fuck is wrong with your phone anyway?"

"It's broken," Yao lied.

"Broken for months and you still haven't fixed it? What the hell? We're going for tea!"

Alfred forcefully dragged the other man into a fast food shop down the street. Yao sat down and fidgeted with his hands. Glimpsing his watch, Yao calculated that he could spend fifteen minutes with his dear friend before going to complete his business.

"What's this?" Alfred's hoarse voice snapped him out of his trance. Yao gasped. They were sitting opposite each other trying to add milk into their coffee. Alfred caught sight of the bruises around Yao's wrists, despite his long sleeves.

"Yao, what's this?" Alfred scowled.

"Nothing!" Yao withdrew his hand and bit his lips.

"Nothing…? I'm not blind, dude. I'm not deaf either. I can always hear you across the street. What the fuck is he doing to you, Yao? I thought you said he was getting better!"

"He is getting better aru!" Yao retorted, "Ivan is…good. He's doing well…We're fine."

"You call this fine?" Alfred folded his arms. "You fucking think this is fine?! He's abusing you!"

"It's none of your business, Alfred! Mind your own stuff!"

"Yao, I'm concerned. It's not like I can interfere with your relationship but I honestly think you should stop this. Arthur and Francis think so too. We were talking about you earlier on. We all think you should just…well…leave him. He's a bastard for treating you like this."

"Stop calling him that aru! He has his reasons…He's in pain too." Yao blubbered, "He's ill…that is…he can't control himself…He's trying! He keeps trying! And he always apologizes…"

"He's insane, Yao! Face the truth. There's no way to cure him! Just send him to the asylum already!"

"Shut up! Shut up!" Yao cried and stood up. The other customers all turned to glance in their direction.

After a long moment of uncomfortable silence, Alfred sighed and shook his head. "Okay, okay, fine. Chill, dude. I won't speak anymore. Let's just…finish our drink, okay?"

Alfred begged and pulled Yao down once more. "Dude, we're just worried about you. You're our friend but we don't get to see you anymore. And it's our duty to make sure you're alive; I mean, if you're alright."

"It's okay aru…I'm fine. You know I can't leave him…He gets lonely without me around."

Yao smiled faintly and fiddled with his fingers. "But, thanks for caring. I'll ring you guys if I have time. Maybe I'll use the public phone booth when I go grocery shopping."

"Did he cut off the phone line?"

"Alfred, can you just let me finish this drink? I really must go now."

However, the American refused to let him go. He followed him to the store and continued chatting with him. Yao felt much better after bumping into his friend. He had missed the jokes Alfred pulled back when they were still working at that restaurant together. Now Francis had opened a café of his own. Arthur had decided to work as an English tutor. And Alfred had resorted to some online business and quit the job as a waiter. The other three still met up often, with the exception of Yao.

"And you know what, dude, you're really like a housewife now," Alfred smirked, gaining a cold glare from the other man. "If I look at you from behind, I can easily mistake you for a woman."

"Shut up aru! You guys never get enough of teasing me. I know I look feminine but I'm a male aru! And there's nothing wrong with guys doing grocery shopping. Drop your stereotype, Al. Don't tell me you never do shopping."

"In fact, I hardly do that. Mattie does it for me. Or I'll just order take-away, so yea, who needs shopping."

"Get a wife or something then," Yao rolled his eyes. "Take-away is bad for health. And you can't rely on your brother forever. Like, he's got his home too, right? That Prussian guy?"

"Yea. They're living together," Alfred shrugged. "How about you come live with me instead and be my housewife?"

"What?"

Yao grunted at the grinning blond. Before he could smack upside Alfred's head, he froze as a pair of shimmering amethyst orbs pierced him from afar.

Ivan stood at the entrance and squinted at the other two. Yao stumbled backwards and withdrew from the blond. Alfred tilted his head and turned around to face the Russian.

"Privet, Alfred, I hope you are not bothering my wife, da," Ivan smiled and narrowed his eyes.

"Oh it's you," Alfred snorted. "Geez, I'm not bothering your wife. We're chatting. Apparently someone's always keeping him so busy he can't even meet his friends anymore. Right, Yao?"

Yao quavered and observed the change of Ivan's expressions. The Russian was still smiling but a dark aura was already enveloping him. Yao knew better to hush.

"It seems to me someone is poking his nose into others' business too much," Ivan cocked his brows. "I do not like my wife meeting up with some disgusting, good-for-nothing fat idiot. I'm doing this for his sake."

"What disgusting fat idiot?" Alfred growled.

"I think you have enough brain capacity to interpret that, da?" Ivan smiled, "Now if you excuse us, we're going back. NOW."

The Russian grabbed his wife's wrist and dragged him out of the store.

"Wait-"

Yao suddenly shot Alfred a warning stare and shook his head.

"I'll see you later, Alfred."

He winked and pretended to wave him a goodbye.

He could hear his inside shrieking.

Ivan almost tore down their door before shoving Yao into the house.

Strikes.

Punches.

Kicks.

They were all over Yao again. The Chinese dodged, cringed and struggled. He knew Ivan wouldn't go easy on him this time. His bones cracked when his spouse tossed him across the room. His back struck the concrete wall twice. Pain shot up his spine. Yao cried out loud.

"I told you not to speak to him ever, EVER AGAIN! Why you never listen to what I say! Why!" Ivan bellowed and yanked Yao up by his hair. "I hate him! You know I detest him! BUT YOU TALK TO HIM! YOU TALK TO THAT INSOLENT PIG!"

"He's…my…friend…" Yao managed to sputter.

"Friend? FRIEND!" Ivan bawled and flung the Asian towards the coffee table. "YOU DARE CALL HIM A FRIEND! You have no friends, Yao! We have no friends! You don't need any friends! You only need me! ME!"

"You're…being…unreasonable…" Yao choked out.

"Shut up! You listen to me, Yao! SHUT UP!"

 ** _Smack._**

"You two must have fucked! I KNEW IT! YOU ARE CHEATING ON ME!"

 ** _Smack._**

Yao felt his senses fading. There were broken images everywhere.

 ** _Smack._**

Broken glasses.

Broken bones.

Broken hearts.

Broken dreams.

He cried and cried and cried.

He crawled upstairs.

It wasn't worth staying anymore.

It was too much.

He had suffered enough.

"Don't you run away when I speak to you, Yao-Yao!" Ivan barked. Just as he reached the highest step, his entire body was hoisted up by the strong Russian. He was trying to drag him to their bedroom, shackle and lock him up forever.

 ** _No._**

Yao struggled to break free. He fought back and wailed. He flailed his arms.

His feet slipped. He tripped and fell. Finally breaking free.

Why did it end like this?

 _It isn't fair. Life isn't fair._

He tried so hard.

Why.

His body landed on the ground. _**CRACK.**_ Ivan's face paled. Yao rolled down the stairs and ended up in a mangled position.

Something hard was beneath him.

Floor.

Something wet seeped through the fabric of his shirt. He couldn't see clearly. Footsteps dashed down the stairs, followed by Ivan's whispers. Ivan's arms finally wrapped around him.

And then, he couldn't see anything again.

Only darkness.

* * *

They **_had had_** a son and named him Vanya..

Yao snapped open his eyes and stared at the ceiling. His whole body was paralyzed. The pain was quenched. Blood lingered in the air.

"Yao…" Ivan hovered beside him and gently wiped off a strand of hair that adhered to his tear-stained cheek.

Yao turned to Ivan. He parted his lips and tried to mutter something. But the words never came out.

He felt numb. He needed to get to the hospital. Real quick.

"Yao, it's okay. I've fed you some painkillers, da. I'm sorry for what happened earlier. I was angry. Very very angry because you talked to Alfred. I don't like you talking to that pig. I don't like him. I didn't mean to hurt you this much."

"I-Ivan…" Yao stammered, "Please…"

"Yes, Yao, I'm here."

"Please…take me to the hospital…please…"

"Nyet…you'll be fine, love," Ivan smiled and kissed the Asian. "You'll be fine. I'll take care of you. I always do, da?"

Yao shut his eyes and grasped the sheets. Tears streamed down his cheeks.

"I'm going to make dinner, Yao~ I'll feed you. No worries~ Now that you can't walk, you'll stay here with me all day and night. I'll be very, very happy. I'll look after my lovely wife, da."

"Ivan…please…" Yao pleaded one last time. "if you still love me…please…help…me…"

"Of course, I love you," the Russian stood up with a grin and bounced off to make dinner. "We've been married for so many years. I have never once stopped loving you."

Some time later, Ivan returned with a tray full of delicious Russian cuisine.

Yao blinked desperately at Ivan.

But no…

Ivan wouldn't call the ambulance no matter what.

"Yao-Yao, you'll stay with me forever, right? You're not leaving, da. You're not going out again to see some stupid friend. You'll stay here. And you won't make me mad again, okay? We'll go back to how we used to be. So happy. So carefree. We'll love each other forever." Ivan beamed merrily, rubbing Yao's hand against his cheek.

The hand was cold.

It was weird.

Yao's skin was usually the warmest place Ivan could seek solace from.

"Yao, you're cold," Ivan gasped and draped the duvet over the stiffened body. "Do you need hugs?"

"Yao?" Ivan smiled and laid his head down on Yao's chest.

"Yao?" He nudged the body again.

The eyes were wide open. They stared at him but never blinked.

"Ah ha, I see! Yao-Yao is being naughty again. Faking death isn't fun da," Ivan giggled and ran his fingers along the scraped skin. "I'll punish you if you keep pulling these pranks on me."

He waited for an answer.

For Yao to spring up and apologise.

For Yao to hug him and for them to make up to each other again.

But it never happened.

The body stayed where it was. The eyes were wide open.

Inane.

"Yao?" Ivan frowned a little and hugged the body close to him. "It's okay. You always wake up an hour or two later. I'll stay here until you talk to me again. I will forgive what you did, so you'll have to forgive me too. Fair enough. And then, we'll start everything anew."

The Russian climbed into the bed calmly and snuggled up against the other man.

Nuzzling the cold body, Ivan closed his eyes and smiled.

"Tomorrow, we'll love each other as usual."


End file.
